what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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