my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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