All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
