If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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