If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
