I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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