You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
