Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize