That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
