I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
