i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize