ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
