mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We need to rekindle our bromance
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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