where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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