idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
