I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
