Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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