dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
