All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
