one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
