I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
