The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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