i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
NoShamevember. You game?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
