I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
