I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
