He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
