I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
