kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
