Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
