is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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