Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
