I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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