if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize