just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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