oh god the rape fog is back!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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