so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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