once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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