I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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