Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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