eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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