I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
