We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
