Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
