Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
