she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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