well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
