We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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