Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize