dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize