Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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