omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i out mim tonsoeep
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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