planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize