I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
