They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
