scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
