im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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