Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize