Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
