I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
