Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize