i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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