Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
