Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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